just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Congratulations! We have a period
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
