How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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