the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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