Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
