JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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