On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ketchup is God's man juice
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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