and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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