the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
