Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
