Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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