Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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