he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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