even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
