i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
