this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
