He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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