Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
worst night to have a conscience
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
