I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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