i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
