Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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