I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
