I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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