i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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