i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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