Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
