I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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