Buhtt sex?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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