He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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