i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
