It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
