I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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