good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
