My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize