careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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