It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
