the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
