oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
