Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
