so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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