i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
