This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
