and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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