You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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