I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
