And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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