how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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