yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
