I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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