We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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