I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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