i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
