You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize