Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
