It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
