Yo dont text me then not text me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
