"it" just moved
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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