My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
