That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
