i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
