dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize