My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
