Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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